Grace: Us Versus Them

Grace dies when it becomes us versus them. - Philip Yancey, What's So Amazing About Grace?, p. 172

So much conflict stems from the distinction made between us and them:

We are white. They are black.
We are Arab. They are Jewish.
We are Hindu. They are Muslim.

When you are no longer able to relate to another, when that common thread of humanity is broken, people often act barbarously towards one another with impunity (in their own eyes and often those of their immediate community).

I think it's the strangest thing. One no more chooses to be white than one chooses to be black. Likewise, being born Arab doesn't mean you must necessarily be hostile towards Jews, even if that resentment is based on centuries of strife between your peoples. Religion is perhaps a little different in that it is supposed to be something that is consciously chosen, but still... In order to convince others of the supremacy of your own set of beliefs, you are wicked towards them? I don't know. It seems like that might be a hard sell.

Also, on a more personal level, I know I'm guilty of being harsh towards someone when they do something I don't think I would ever do. For example, I'm very critical of people who I think are being lazy when they're playing a sport. Then, I'm unkind towards them because I would never stop hustling for the ball or let my man go, especially if it's a close game. Therefore, I can't understand what's going on in their head and I just can't relate. As a result, I'm very judgmental because that's not an area where I could envision being different than I am. There's absolutely no empathy and no grace from me then.

Like that, I think everybody has areas in their life where they can't separate how they are (the perceived us) with how other people might be (the perceived them). And the irony with such a distinction - based on an individual's personality, which is such a dynamic thing - is that you might someday find yourself aligned with the group you had previously marginalized. Granted, it's a trivial example, but I'm less competitive today than I was when I was a little younger. I couldn't have fun if I didn't hustle like a mad man back in the day, but I can hold back a little now so that other people are more involved in the game and everybody has more fun. Just don't ask me to do it when it's a close game. lol. I don't know if I'm there yet. But my point is that I've since been in situations where someone tells me I'm not giving it a 100 percent, and I don't know what to say. I know why I'm slowing down, but I also know what it's like to be the type of person who thinks there's never a good reason to hold back.