Pissed, Part I

My next couple entries are going to be about things I've been thinking about recently, all of which kinda piss me off. The irony is that I'm guilty of most, if not all, of these things myself. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't understand them so well.

1) If someone doesn't really appreciate or understand the thing you think you do really well, you are resentful of them.

This perhaps explains why the coupling between football players and cheerleaders happens so often. Not only do cheerleaders show up at all the players' games, but these women make it a central part of their identity to come out and support the team.

On a more personal level, I definitely held it against someone I once dated that they didn't appreciate my writing. I'm the kind of person who writes a lot, either when I'm really confused or really hurt or really happy or just if I'm really _____. It's not that the person in question didn't appreciate the longer letters I sometimes sent her, at least for the effort I put forth, but she didn't really understand the purpose. "Why do you have so much to think about?" was a common query in that relationship and that drove me crazy. In my opinion, "The unexamined life is not worth living." I'm not quoting Socrates here just to prove that there are some heavy hitters in my camp; I truly believe that it's not enough just to do things. You also have to know why you're doing those things, and for me, writing is how I consider the world and my place in it.

So is it always all right to discriminate against someone because they don't fully appreciate what you do? I don't know. I guess it's a question of how important that thing is to you in the grander scheme of things.

For me, I couldn't be with someone who doesn't get literature. I'm not claiming that what I write is literature (and I think I would be all right with them thinking I have plenty of room for improvement), but I couldn't relate to someone who didn't understand why people throughout history have felt the need to put pen (or quill, as the case may have been) to paper. On the other hand, there are other things that I care about a lot that I would like the other person to get, but I wouldn't rule out dating the person if they didn't appreciate those things. For example, I love running and playing sports, especially basketball and soccer. I'm a good athlete, in fairly decent shape, and I work hard to stay that way. So it can be frustrating when I share with someone that I've just run ten miles at a pace that's better than my previous best and the person has no clue what the difference is between a 7-minute mile and an 8-minute mile. Still, I can be all right with that.

Another example that comes to mind, perhaps a better one, is Val and her artwork. I don't think she should ever be with someone who can't push her to keep at her passion of becoming a full-time artist. Part and parcel of being able to give her real encouragement is loving what she makes and why she makes it. If her significant other didn't understand that, I think Val, and her artwork, would suffer.

So... I guess you have to pick what you have to have and what you're all right without. It's hard because priorities change all the time. In terms of particulars, what was important to you in high school is so different from what is important to you now. What you need to sort out is what the underlying, recurring themes in your life are that make you who you are. It's so important to know what those things are at the outset or you might let go of a relationship because your significant other didn't get your skateboarding prowess, only to look back a few years later and wonder what you were smoking at the time.