The words "I am..." are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you're claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you. - A. L. Kitselman

from Naomi:

When I was a little girl, my grandmother explained the mystery of last names to me. She told me that last names that meant something, like Marin or Gardner, were bestowed upon a person because at one point he/she had become associated with the meaning of the word. At the time, I remember being so awed by the idea of it, that I spent weeks making up last names for people. Someone who laughed a lot became known as XYZ Giggles, for example, and someone who was never happy became ABC Gloomy. Once the name was assigned however, it became very hard to seperate the person from their new identity.

The problem with habits isn't what name others decide to give us, but the names we give ourselves. It becomes very difficult to undo your self-given identity because it shatters not just your self-image, but the world around you. For example, someone who creates a lot of messes may decide to say he is messy. Once the label "messy" is applied, he goes from being someone who occasionally, or even often, makes messes, to someone who can not dissociate making messes from his identity. If he were to wake up one morning and decide to be neat, he would have to start off by not only tidying up, but by replacing his old identity with a new one.

I suppose that is one way we become our habits - or, at the very least, it's the way one little girl with lots of imagination saw it. (email, 2.22.06)