I've been wondering today about why it is that people put so much effort into a relationship in its infancy, but as the relationship matures, they revert to a more callous way of dealing with one another. I know the case could be made that what appears to be callousness is in fact a greater level of comfort where both people can be real with each other. Perhaps, but there are still ways of relating that we predominantly use when we are first nurturing relationships that have value in the further stages of a relationship's development.

For example, when I'm first getting to know someone, I tend to be more patient with the other person and less judgmental of them. As I get to know them though, especially as I begin to consider the person a friend, I expect so much from the other person that I am much more critical of them when they disappoint me. And if they disappoint me in a particular way once, I expect that it won't happen again and I'm not patient while they work towards improving themselves with regard to that facet of their personality. For me, I know that I need to remember that people are a continual work in progress, that people develop at their own pace, and that I need to be supportive rather than critical even when that development doesn't take place according to my timetable. Heck, my own development often doesn't happen according to my timetable and the people who are my supports are both patient and nonjudgmental with me, so it would be hypocritical were I not understanding in the same way with other people.

Anyone have other examples?